All of us immigrate to this great country for monetary gains as America provides us with limitless Opportunities to Work, Progress, grow and develop our skills and talents to any level we willing to devote time and en. All this can be pursued under full protection of the Constitution in which are enshrined the fundamental freedoms which human Soul seeks to live peacefully and pursue freely.
We settle down in our jobs and to make a success of our undertaking with devotion and hard work. AS American society is geared to monetary and martial gains we Spoon learn this trait and adopt it as it seems to accelerate our worldly sets. Our wives who can work outside home either professionally or otherwise take up jobs to add to the financial basket. Our aims and objects inherent in our migration to this country are seemingly fulfilled and we feel genuinely happy with our achievements. In general we have proved ourselves to be a great asset to our adopted country as we have contributed substantially towards the Progress and development of this country especially in the fields of medicine, science, engineering and education.
Sooner or later we start observing and feeling some discrimination here and there which, of course, is not especially directed towards us as Indian-Americans but is shared with all other minorities both in private enterprises and in government undertakings. Making things worse for us in this heterogeneous society of this country are our color, race and religion and in some cases our dress and outward appearances which are at variance with those of white majority. In this country, like all other ethnic and religious minorities have always been subjected to discrimination at all levels of society. Ii pains us to see such unsocial Practices in this great country with noble traditions and beacon light of human nights for the whole world.
Problems start when our children begin schooling where the majority is of White children. Our children share school life with them and are in harmony with them in all respects. While this equal treatment environment is admirable and praise-worthy for balanced growth of our children this also molds their social behavior on the pattern of majority children who come from the permissive society which America is. In the process certain undesirable habits start being built in the innocent and impressionable minds which gradually become their social norms of behavior and in certain respects run counter to our cultural heritage. This makes Indian-American parents very uncomfortable and they worry about the future of their children. Indian-American parents admit openly and honestly that this is not in any way, the result of any discriminatory treatment towards their children in schools which only consider a child’s performance as a criterion for progress and promotion. It is in fact the result of lax discipline and general decline of moral values and social behavior in this country.
Inter-racial marriages are another worry to our people. It is not the act of marriage itself but the unhappy outcome manifest in 90% divorces amongst inter-racial marriages. Society in India is a class conscious society and in spite of considerable improvement in breaking the walls of this cruel“ and inhuman custom especially in inter-caste marriages the custom is too deeply rooted to be completely eliminated. Most of us grew under that custom and Indian American parents are, [think, subconsciously asking their children to follow that practice, But our children are born and brought up in this country which is free from. the shackles of India’s caste system and find it difficult to understand their parents altitude towards marrying into other races, especially when it is based on love between the contracting parties. Undoubtedly any divorce, not only of inter-racial marriages, but in general, jeopardizes the future of children as they need love and guidance of both parents for their Smooth and balanced growth. Such problems arising out of growth and education of our children in the present day environment in this country have to be accepted philosophically as they are the product of time. Certain aspects of social behavior in the present day America are unacceptable even to white American parents. But winds of permissive society have become too strong to be contained and confined within limits of decency and civility.
My strong and humble advice to Indian-American parents is to spend more time with their growing children, listen very patiently to understand their view-point and try to convince them with sound logic. Children of today are very intelligent and free and you cannot impose your will on them, open and frank discussion will work better where command will not.
Our immigration into this country is a blessing but it got mixed with mostly imaginary problems arising out of our permanent settlement here. Indian-Americans should bear in mind that this is not Unique With them but is the common fate of all who migrate to distant Iands and face such problems in the beginning. Remember what Longfellow, that famous poet Said Everything must change to something new to something Strange, Please develop the capacity to accept change,.
America is a very great country and a melting pot of so many nations and cultures and its greatness is no unshed by those units. Indian-Americans, who come from one of the oldest civilizations one an hare contributing their share to that pot and are also being rewarded with a piece of the product.
G.S. Sandhu, M.D.(Ex-Kenya), Fresno, CA
Article extracted from this publication >> August 12, 1994
