Dear Editor,

I grew up in a western culture raised with traditional Indian values. Among the values that my Parents taught me was that Indian youths did not have relationships before getting married Indian youths did not do drugs and every Indian youth became a doctor engineer or a lawyer. At that time in my life I believed them but unfortunately I regreued it later in my life. Although every parent wants to install good values in their children but the values that parents were brought up with are not the same as today’s values. Especially in the western culture where getting divorce and having several relationships before getting married is the nom

Please do not get me wrong the western culture like all other cultures does have positive values. I just regret and I wish I had involved myself in Indian functions Or had associated with Indians who were raised in a western culture then I would have not got into the mess that I am in.

I remember when I first got married it was an arranged one. The Indian girl was from California. I was told that her family had a good reputation. Later unfortunately i found out it was not true but it was too late formed. I was married only for five month: «en she decided that manage. in. or her. That was the saddest day of my lie. I thought marriage was for life but I guess we live in a western culture where having a divorce is normal

Now-a-days people put bets on how long a marriage will last. People exchange horror stories about Indian marriages lasting from a day to several months not all Indian marriages are failures but the divorce rate is starting to Increase in the Indian communities living in the western culture. Two years lateral got married again but this time I went to India. It was a very interesting experience because of the fact that I had never been to India. I am very satisfied with the woman that I have mattered.   The moral of this story is if h parent knows that their child do not want to get married or know that their child is involved in wrong acts then please do not marry them Off to an Indian family thinking it will solve the problem. Usually it ends up hurting the innocent family. My advice is doing a complete background check on the other family before marrying your child off (still there is no guarantee). My other advice is marrying your child in India. The young people in India are quite adaptable to the western culture and from my personal experience I learned from my Present wife how to read and speak my native language. i hope by writing this article the misfortune that had happen to me will not happen to someone else Jasvinder Klair San Jose CA

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Article extracted from this publication >> February 4, 1994