STOCKTON: Marriage and wedding customs vary by country and culture. For western teens and young people raised with soap operas, MTV, and ‘R’ rated movies ‘lust’ has often replaced ‘love’ as a basis for a relationship. Far from the western adolescents’ understanding is the custom of “arranged marriage” which has for centuries been the accepted way for a couple to become husband and wife.

A Jordanian immigrant family has had nearly a year of turmoil as their customs came under scrutiny of police and court officials. According to initial news reports, a young woman protested to authorities that she had been “sold” into marriage with her 21-yearold cousin, The girl claimed that her strict Muslim family was ashamed of a relationship she had with anon Arab. The girl said her father threatened to send her back to Jordan where she would be an outcast or be killed for her transgressions. In order to save herself she agreed to marry her cousin who had immigrated from Kuwait. But at the time of her required blood test she told the nurse of the “forced” marriage. This started a legal struggle that ended this week.

After her claim of “forced marriage” the girl was taken to the local orphanage and her husband charged with rape and her parents charged with complicity, The angry parents went to the orphanage to retrieve the recalcitrant girl but were refused entry. Frustrated at this turn they tried to force their way in. This added to their problems and the mother was charged with battery against a worker.

The judge in the case said this week that the girl’s story did not ring true. Judge Saiers said he believed the girl, born and raised in the U.S. wanted to escape her strict Muslim family and decided to marry her cousin as a means of achieving her goal, and that she planned to leave him when she turned 18,

The parents say they hope to someday reconcile but it would have to be on their terms and she would have to embrace their customs, They said they have five sons and a daughter, and do not count this daughter among their children, The parents say they still love her and want her to come back but their trust in her will have to be won again.

Article extracted from this publication >> Aug 28, 1992