Sir,

I wish to thank Dr. Upinder Jit Kaur for presenting a woman’s view of “Woman’s role and status in Sikhism.” I agree with what she said. We Sikhs have lots of work ahead of us. We need to match our conduct to our Guru’s teachings and Gurbani.

I commend the way Sikhs raise their daughters. They teach them how to control their emotions and how to get along with others, dedication to the family and faith, gentility and caring. I wish they do the same with their sons. If they could raise their sons with the same sense of responsibility and commitment as their daughters. I am sure our daughters will be a lot happier and we Sikhs would flourish. I am 90% convinced Sikh families treat their boys better than their daughters.

In my younger sister’s marriage I had asked Bhai ji and the Sangat that in the ceremony I want my sister to walk twice in front of my brother-in-law to be. I was told that we Sikhs like to give lead to one person and in marriage we give it to the man. After the marriage whoever is smarter would take over the lead anyway. I did not like the answer then nor do I like it now. My compromise was no one would walk in lead. I couldn’t see my sister taking the second place to anyone. Especially the one I didn’t even know. Marriage is an equal partnership and both must share and take equal responsibilities. We must treat and raise our children with equality. We shall not practice our self what we don’t like in others.

I do not agree with Ms. Atnam Kaur, Sikhism is not a dogmatic or ritualistic religion that we cannot change. We are allowed to adapt our circumstances, Before the new Sikhs start arriving here our Gurdwara, i.e., in Electro, was very much like local churches, The Sikhs those attended that type of Gurdwara were no lesser Sikhs than the new ones. We shall remain creative and continue to dream of better tomorrows. Sexual gratification is a biological need. One should use protection if one cannot afford or want a child. Abstention is not the answer. If one can have children and can afford to raise them properly, I would urge them to have children. We need more Sikhs. Amen!

Narjit B .Singh

Article extracted from this publication >> September 25, 1992