By:Gurdeep Singh Sayal

MARYLAND: Keeping in view the various issues affecting the Sikh community, an Adult Day Camp was organized by the joint efforts of the National Sikh Center and the Guru Gobind Singh Foundation (Maryland) recently at Gurdwara Sahib. It was comprised of sessions on Positive Individual Inner growth, Enhancing Emotional and Physical wellbeing, harmony in marriage and the art of parenting. The speakers ranged from Sikh religious leaders to Psychiatrists to counselors on marriage and parenting.

The first session was on positive individual inner growth, Bhai Gurdarshan Singh, who is the ‘Granthi’ (Sikh priest) at Guru Gobind Singh Foundation started with a simple, but deep, revelation that things grow only when a seed is planted, He quoted Gurbani (Sikh Scriptures) at various places to clarify his ideas:

“Eh tan dharti beej karam karo Sagal apao sarang paani” Guru Nanak in Shr Raag Le., a person should consider his body as land, make his deeds as seeds and water his life with God’s name.

He further stressed the utmost importance of the name of God (Waheguru’s Naam) for an individual’s inner self to grow in a positive direction. A major part of his talks were based on the dis course that Gun Nanak Dev Ji (first prophet of the Sikhs) had with the ‘Sidhas” (spiritually elevated hermits residing in the Himalyas). The object of discussion was the cycle of birth and death which human beings are subject to, and how the light of God (Wahe Guru) within us could be experienced.

“Anhad raate eh man Jayaa”

i.e. V have concentrated my mind 10 the sound, the echo from which the whole world was born. On being questioned on how to swim across this difficult ocean like world, Guru Nanak answered that as the lotus grows in water, but still always keeps it self a float, similarly ‘one must also rise above the world while still staying within this world.

The same discussion was further continued by Bhai Jaspal Singh, a Sikh ‘Pracharak’ (preacher), He also supplemented his talk with verses from Gurbani pertaining 10 positive individual inner growth, His talk was centered around the concept of realizing one’s fundamental reality:

“Man too jot saroop hai apna mool haan”

i.e., your origin, reality is divine, try to understand who you are. Without realizing one’s fundamental reality, one becomes disconnected from one’s roots. One can complete oneself only by understanding reality. So one ought to know oneself completely.

He also spoke on the importance of meditation in creating a space, a silence in our inner half, He quoted a technique of meditation implied from Guru Granth Sahib:

“Akhi kudrat, kani baani, muk aakhan sach naam”

i.e. admire nature , listen to baani (Guru’s teachings) and recite the name of truth (i.e. God or ‘Waheguru’) , This is the technique of true meditation. He said that through meditation, one becomes light (free of burdens) and fills his surroundings with spiritual fragrance.

This idea of meditation was brought into practice in the following session by Dr.Balwinder Kaur, a psychiatrist. The session was a workshop on Enhancing emotional and Physical Well Being where the audience was caught a way of meditation, all were made to take a deep breath while reciting the “Mulmantra’ (the first few lines of the Holy Book of the Sikhs, i.e. Guru Granth Sahib, which give a complete definition of God). Everyone was asked to concentrate their mind on the spirit within them realizing that every inhalation of the ‘Mulmantra’ was replacing the five bad things within them (‘kam’ :lust, ‘krodh’ ‘anger, ‘lobh’:greed, ‘moh’; worldly attachment, ‘“ahankar’:ego) which were thrown out of the body during exhalation.

After lunch there was a session on Harmony in Marriage conducted by Rev. Carl Nissen, who offers a marriage counselling course. He gave a talk on faith to faith, mind to mind and heart to heart relationships. He stressed the uniqueness of each human being. In his words, ‘each one of us is a living miracle of the creativity of God, never to be repeated again,” He spoke on shared meaning (mind to mind relationship) and also on spiritual contact (heart to heart relationship), Ac companied by his wife, who is Principal of a Junior High School at Melean, Virginia, and one of his colleagues, he did a demonstration on improving communication skills between spouses. Later he conducted a workshop in which couples were made to practice having a shared meaning with their respective partners, they were made to sit facing each other and holding each other’s hands. They were then asked to discuss a personal problem of one partner which the other was supposed to listen carefully with concern and both were expected 10 reach a solution acceptable to both. He encouraged everyone to practice this technique daily to have harmony in marriage and a better understanding with one’s spouse.

This was followed by a session on ‘The Art of Parenting’ conducted by Ms.Betsy D.Hirschel, L.G.S.W., a Jewish counselor on parental issues, She spoke on the different types of parental styles: Autocratic, Permissive and Democratic (hybrid of the first two), She stressed the advantages of the Democratic Style as in this style the children get a say, dignity to make some decisions and also responsible freedom within limits. All these add to the values of the family. She also spoke ‘on parenting from a Jewish perspective and gave many tips for effective parenting. She explained the difference between praise and encouragement. Whereas praise is very sugary, very general, encouragement is very specific, detailed and builds permanent strength. The child feels respected, dignified, cared for and loved.

She further went on with one very important requirement of good parenting, i.e. consistency, Both should have a mutual understanding and consent with each other to prevent the child from taking advantage of one parent over the other. Parents should make it a point not 10 argue in front of their children and also to try to listen and understand to what the child has to say. Validating a child’s conflict is the key, If the child is having problems of adjustment at school due to his/her religion, race of appearance, the parents should go to the school and talk 1o the teachers there and if possible, take advantage of the international days at school to make others aware of the different religion and culture that they belong 10.

The camp ended with a group discussion session in which every: individual in the audience expressed his/her overall view of the camp. Observations were made that a lot more needs 10 be done, the overall response was to have frequent camps of this type, some also desired to have similar camps for children. Dr.Rajwant Singh, Executive Director of Gums Gobind Singh Foundation, who was also one of the organizers of this camp said, “This is the first time where problems of marriage and parental issues were discussed in a Gurdwara and we are encouraged by the response. In reality, the role or function of religious institutions should be to help make life of people more harmonious and spiritually oriented. Many people from different areas have shown interest in holding similar activities. I hope we can continue with this trend,”

The camp was a big success and’ the efforts of the organizers are commendable, we hope that they would further organize such camps to benefit the community.

Article extracted from this publication >>  August 27, 1993