NEW DELHI: Marriage bureaus are common in this country where the majority of marriages are arranged. But “HIV positive Hindu engineer, 30, seeks a suitable match in another HIV carrier, cast no bar, no dowry required” is not the kind of proposal to lure most Indian parents as they scour the Sunday papers for a husband for their cherished daughter. That is why the Indian Health Organization has taken the bold step of setting up an agency in Bombay designed to help HIV positive men and woman to meet.

Arul Dawda, a 28yearold builder was engaged to be married last year, but broke it off when he tested positive for the AIDS virus. He knew no healthy woman would want him and said he could not ruin a woman’s life by keeping his condition a secret. Yet he still craved companionship and has found it in his marriage to HIV positive prostitute Vimla Devi, introduced to him by the THO, A few days ago, Arul fell down the stairs from an attack of giddiness. Devi has been massaging his legs to ease the injury. “Support is the main reason for marrying,” she says. “Otherwise why marry at all?”

IHO Secretary-general LS. Gillada reports that at least 80% of those who test HIV Positive in India are aged between 20 and 35 and most of them are unmarried, “Let them marry and try to be happy,” he says. It was to encourage HIV patients to marry but not spread the disease that prompted the THO to set up the marriage bureau. The group counsels applicants on why they should not have children. Bombay which is estimated to have over 100,000 HIV positive cases is a major transit point for people seeking jobs in the Gulf countries. Mandatory pre immigration HIV tests have revealed a number of people who face a bleak future.

One such case is a 31yearold driver from the southern state of Kerala who had planned to go to the Gulf to eam enough money to get married and support his mother. He has now decided that his future lies in Bombay with a HIV positive wife. “When people first realize they are HIV positive, the reaction is fear. Once they learn to accept it, they usually want to get married,” explains Gilada.

Vriju Ramani, who runs a bureau in the port city, says he would be happy to arrange marriages for HIV positive people. “I would accept them. I have full sympathy for them.

Article extracted from this publication >>  July 17, 1996