When I flip through Indian magazines, I come across occasional, snip pets on India’s wealthy bachelors which imply that they are a great catch for the altar. The bachelors range in age from 30 to even 55 but are portrayed as caring, handsome men who would delight the heart of any woman.

That is the irony about the position of men and women in our world. A man of 50is an eligible bachelor if he is financially comfortable, but a 38yearold single woman is considered over the hill.

There’s no doubt that our male dominated world is unjust to women in this respect. Take, for instance, words derogatory to women in the English language. They include hag, nag shrew, vixen, slattern, slut, tart, witch. The only derogatory word for men I can think of is slob.

There are others, of course, like rogue rascal, scoundrel and bounder, but they are loving words. If you call a man rogue or a rascal, he will grin happily,

Our double standards for men and women are numerous, A promiscuous man is considered a Casanova, and a promiscuous woman is derided as a nymphomaniac, Men and women are equally prone to infertility. But when a couple is child Tess, the wife is seen as barren,

We admire a 40 year old man who marries a nubile 20 year old woman. If a 40yearold woman marries a 20 year old boy, we sneer at her as a cradle-snatcher it’s all right for a 60 year old man to wear a swimming costume like his son’s. But if a 60yearold woman wears a bikini, she causes profound irritation.

Meaning it’s OK for an old man to expose his sagging body but not for an old woman.

Looked at superficially, our law on adultery favors women. Our Indian Penal Code says a man can be Jailed for five years if he takes a married woman to bed even though she may have seduced him, But she cannot be prosecuted. At first glance, the law seems unfair to men, but the law stems from traditional view of a woman being a husband’s property. Discussing the situation of women, Susan Sontag, a famous American writer, wrote 72 years ago that from late teens to her mid-20s a woman can attract a man of her own age.

But if husband and wife split in their late 40s or 50s, the husband can marry a younger woman, but the wife will have to settle for a much older man.

“Women become sexually ineligible much earlier than men do. A Than, eyen an ugly man, can remain eligible well into old age. He is an acceptable mate fora young, attractive woman. “A woman who is never married is pitied. A bachelor is assumed to have a sexual life or has the chance of one. Men get older with regret, apprehension. Women get older with shame.

One supreme irony is Surveys in Western Europe and America showing that men actually live longer when they marry younger women compared to those who have older wives.

And it seems that celebrities abroad encounter no difficulty in finding women half their age. Legendary Hollywood star Cary Grant, who died two years ago, was 47 years older than his fifth and last wife, Barbara.

Comedian Jerry Lewis, 61, has a 33yearold wife. Actor Rod Steiger’s wife is as old as his daughters, 24, Fifty nine year old Tony Curtis has a wife who is 21.

John Derek, 57, husband of the sensational Bo Derek, says his stunning 31 year old wife works as an aphrodisiac on him. “If you are surrounded by youthfulness, you are bound to feel and act younger your, self he says.

I wonder what these young wives would have to say of their far older husbands.

by: Arvind Kala

Article extracted from this publication >>  December 2, 1994